im majoring in netflix with a minor in alcohol
how to flirt with someone in a museum: introduce yourself and then say i would shake your hand but that sign says not to touch the masterpieces
oh no I broke a post but.
why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
*sighs* because the ‘pee’ is silent
no because it’s dead
THAT HAPPENED 65 MILLION YEARS AGO
missing people who treated you like garbage is very strange and dumb
do u ever get like water hungry…
before you have sex with me you have to earn it
take these two potatoes and this goat and bring them to the river valley where you will meet an old gypsy named madam zeroni. carry madam zeroni back up the mountain on your back and allow her to drink from the stream while you sing for her. she will give you a necklace of beads. return them to me to complete the quest.
don’t sit in your pajamas and reblog posts about how you wish you could be pretty and confident, just do it. Get up early so you can do your hair and makeup all nice for school, flirt with the boys and let them come to you, say “thank you” instead of “no i’m not” when someone calls you pretty, fake that fucking confidence until it’s real, do you understand me? Now go own that red lipstick.
TAKE THIS ADVICE GUYS ITS THE BEST THING YOU COULD EVER DO FOR YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE